Every now and then when I heat something up in the water-exciter-box (microwave) I like to set the time to something non standard, say 2:80. Last time I did this, I went into another dimension. If I had to guess, probably the 6th or 7th. Do not try this at home.

What about that day when I dressed up like a flower and some dude called me a blooming idiot. I was mad, but I had to laugh--he was dressed like a girl. I wish it had been halloween.

This friend of mine, he got called out by his opponent's girlfriend. She said "Are you guys boys or men?" They shook hands and walked away.

If you build a man a fire, it will keep him warm for the night, if you set him on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. (I can't take credit for this one)